Today, I became a non-smoker. I decided to stop believing that ‘someday’ was going to magically happen to me. I decided to take control and turn “someday” into “TODAY!”
“That easy?” you might say. Yep. Doin’ it. Done. I’m done. I really believe it.
I am, however, realistic. Today, I will also wait for the head-storms to start. You know. The ‘I-hate-everyone-and-everthing-so-hard-I-will-certainly-crack–down-the-middle’ feeling. Anyone who has quit before or been around someone who has is surely familiar. I’m embarrassed to admit my past attempts at quitting have lead to verbal vomit of impressive proportions. Storm-fueled rage-rants from which I, myself, would have gladly hidden in the chicken coop to avoid…were I only able to bifurcate and run wildly away from the nicotine-deprived self creating them.
When the storms come and when I feel the rage-rant pulsing in my throat, I’ll remind myself that this is just the devil of the thing – of the packs of cigarettes past. Packs I started accumulating over half a lifetime ago at the age of 14. (Rock star decision-making, right?) I’ll remind myself that quitting smoking is about a new page, a new start. I will not mourn what is gone because there is nothing good to miss. I will look forward to what I have gained and be excited about quitting. If the storms come, I’ll breathe. I’ll meditate. Heck, maybe I’ll even run!
Whatever happens, I’ll know I’ve not given up a thing. What I’ve done is gained a lot. I have made the decision:
– To stop fooling myself into believing that ‘someday soon’ will come tomorrow.
– To stop being a slave to big tobacco.
– To vote with my money and stop lining the pockets of companies and people that profit from the foolish experiments and inevitable addiction of millions.
– To give myself the dramatic benefits in health and finances that result from no longer subjecting my body and pocketbook to packs (and packs and packs) of cigarettes.
– To take a step toward being the person I want to be.
– To begin today.