If you are a single woman who has been through a series of unfortunate dating disasters, then you are most likely wedged in a circle of toxic dating patterns. Getting a chance at a real relationship requires that you break out of these unhealthy dating patterns. You may not notice it immediately, but you may be dating the same exact guy for years, only he comes with a different face each time.
If you have been trapped in a series of screwed up dating patterns for a long time, it might be a little difficult for you to get out. If you do not want to be perpetually single, however, you need to start on a clean slate by getting the hell out of the dating patterns that are killing your chances for a lasting relationship. It is not as easy as you think, but as long as you are more than willing to wipe off your toxic dating records clean, then you will be able to get a higher chance of finding the right guy for you.
You Fall Too Easily for Unavailable Men
There is something incredibly attractive about unavailable men. Dating a married guy is tempting because the fact that he is committed to another woman makes him more eye-catching to the opposite sex. However, getting attached with a married guy is an apocalyptic disaster waiting to happen. You try to convince yourself that you are just merely flirting with him, but sooner or later, you will find yourself having a difficulty staying away from him. And although you feel a little guilty about hitting on him, it gives you so much pleasure when he returns the favor.
How to Get Out: Unless you want to be branded as a whore or a home wrecker, you need to get out of that affair as soon as you can. Getting involved with a man who is married or has a girlfriend is basically selling yourself short. Remember that there are a lot of single guys available out there, and saving yourself for someone who will only treat you as substitute wife in the long run is never a good thing.
Leave out of town, stay in a different country for a year, and ignore him completely. There is just so much you can do to get out of a possible disastrous relationship. When it comes to love, you should be a priority, not a mistress. Get out of that affair and find a man who is mentally and emotionally available and committed to you.
You Date Guys like You Are Running a Marathon
When a guy finally asks you out for a date, you are so excited that you consistently remind yourself that he might just be the one. You set up too many expectations to the possible future of your relationship that you miss out on actually enjoying your date and getting to know him more. You flick your hair, bite your lips, or do any other silly gestures you think would make him fall for you because you are convinced that he is “The One.” After the first date, you start to manipulate situations for him to go out with you. You even set up elaborate plans, conniving with your friends and his friends to make sure that you will have alone time together even when you go out as a group.
How to Get Out: Breathe. A first date is nothing but a nice opportunity to get to know a guy better. When going on dates with a guy, try not to see him solely as a prospect boyfriend material. Take the time to know him by asking him vital questions about his personality, work, family, and his views in life, romance, and marriage. When you are dating a new man for the first time, it is okay to go slowly but surely.
Yes, it is exhilarating that you are finally dating someone after an agonizingly long time. However, you should not jump into any conclusion about how he might be the perfect man that you have been waiting for. Take as much time as you want to really know him first and also for you to figure out what you are actually feeling about him. Dating a perfect guy is like eating the perfect cheesecake. You do not rush it or else you will get choked up without even remotely enjoying the experience. Keep calm and date away, but also remember that romance is a slow dance. There is no fun in rushing because you won’t get to know who you are dating now if your mind is set on a blurry future.
Image by: JD Hancock