How exactly should we measure success? How do we know if we’re making progress? What should we do when nobody cares?
As a person, and my wife could attest to this, I am exceptionally stubborn. Though I tend to view it positively – I see it as being driven and determined. In my life, I have faced many hardships and failures, but I’ve also had my share of victories.
Today, I smoked 10 cigarettes, from 6 AM to 9 AM. I was planting papayas and it’s really stressful because of the nature of the work, the environment and some people were making charcoal nearby. Remember, smelling smoke is one of my triggers.
But did I really fail because I smoked?
That is the limit I’ve set on myself, 10 cigarettes in the morning and when it’s noon time I have to stop. This means 16 hours of being smoke free. Much of this attitude has to come with a goal. After identifying my habits and my weaknesses, the next logical step would have to be goal setting.
I need to find that balance between finding my tolerable levels of smoking and the desire to stop.
I think I’ll set that level to 10 sticks in the morning and none at noon til evening.
For now, I am not looking into getting any tobacco replacement such as e-cigarettes, mainly because, they’re quite beyond my financial means. Also, I have certain qualms about tricking myself and my body, I need to do this through sheer will.
To me, this war against smoking is not just about my health or my family. It’s about willpower and whether I really am, the master of my own body.
I’ve seen too many people suffer the consequences of their own weaknesses and I’m afraid that I might end up the same – a victim of myself.
I’ll definitely put up a fight.
So 10 sticks in the morning, and none at noon til evening. I’ll set this goal for April.
By May, I’ll make it 0 sticks for 24 hours and see how long that could take me.