I do not want to physically birth children and have chosen to be child-free. This seems to be a harsh and almost impossible concept for many people to understand or respect. There is always the “Oh, you will change your mind. You still have time” and the “Who will take care of you someday?” Let’s not forget “But you would make such cute babies!” Read more
Sometimes, on our path to destiny, our soul loses its foundation; it dwells in the darkness of its own hate and deceit. You lose sight of everything around you, what you want, what you need, who you are, and where you want to be. You’re blinded by the devil himself and you can’t see the light, no matter which way you look. Read more
I’ve decided to try something different. I always thought of quitting as such a difficult and negative process. Well, who would want to do that when you’re constantly thinking of it in such a hateful way? So I’ve decided to think of it in a positive manner. I mean, after all, it’s a good thing I’m quitting right? Read more
It's day five since I posted about the bribery from my husband. As I sit here enjoying what will hopefully be one of my last cigarettes on my back patio, I wonder if I'm truly capable of doing this.
Sure, you put your mind to something, and anything is possible. However, even though quitting seems like a nearly impossible task, I've quit things before. Men, sports, jobs, drugs. The question is, can I successfully do it again? My house is a construction zone as we are redoing the kitchen, dining, and living areas, and I'm stressed. Is this something I want to take on right in the middle of this huge project? When my kids are on my last nerve, confined only to one family room (that's completely crowded with all of our kitchen and living room stuff), and their bedrooms?
Then again I'm just making excuses.
I know what I need to do. I need to quit cold turkey. I need to just bite the bullet and do it. I don't need the nicotine. What I need is to be around for my kids. So,
Step one: I've picked my quit date.
Step two: There's that matter of actually quitting. And I'm supposed to do that the day after tomorrow. Oh boy.
Step three: I need advice! For those reading this, do you have any tips on getting through the initial cravings? I think my next post will likely have to be all about how to get through cravings. Yep, time to do a little research, so I can be fully prepared!
Now for the return back to my house, if you want to even call it that. It's more like construction zone. Until next time.
*Image courtesy Flickr creative commons.
Day one of truly contemplating quitting smoking is happening. Right now. I am actually thinking I can finally do this, well, maybe. I've been smoking since I was seventeen. I'll be twenty-seven next month. Something about smoking for ten years just doesn't sit right with me, but let's be real, that's not what's motivating me to quit. And what actually is, surprised me. But before we get into that, let's get some history.
I'm me. Mother of two, wife of a firefighter, and adopted daughter from a stereotypical Brooklyn Jewish home (but we transplanted to south Florida when I was a kid). Long story short, I didn't know I was adopted until I was eighteen, and I didn't find out in a traditional way. I had a few rough years with rehab, bad guys and drugs, but got my crap together about six months before I met my now husband. In 2010 we had a little girl, and this last January we had a little boy. Then I got my tubes tied. One little me is enough. We are praying my son is like my husband.
Anyway, I obviously was smoking when I met my husband, though I told him I wanted to quit. Six ears later, he still periodically comes up with new ways to try to get me to kick the habit. Yes, I quit, for the most part, while I was pregnant (I am not proud nor ashamed to admit that). But this summer he actually may have found a way to get me to quit, or so I think.
A few days ago he came to me with a proposition. He said "Baby, What about if I give you $150 a month, that's all yours to spend on you, not the kids, me or anyone else, just you." Of course my eyes light up until I realize wait, this is his newest scheme to get me to quit. So of course I played dumb, and asked "I love this idea. What's the catch?" And then came the answer, "You quit smoking."
So here I am. Staring at my bitten fingernails, chipping toe polish, sad wardrobe, and thinking, $150 a month and I can get my nails done. Toes done. New clothes. Anything I want without having to worry it would bust our budget this month, or feel bad because I should get the kids yet another new fancy outfit. Money to pamper myself some, or go out or do whatever I want with and all I have to do is quit smoking. I finally have a carrot dangling in front of me to actually get me moving on the quitting process that I have honestly wanted to do for some time now.
So, I think I'll try it. I mean, my kids need a mom and I don't want to be on one of those "Quit Florida" commercials with a hole in my throat.