Love Is The Art of Persistence

Indeed this is the first time in my life when I feel confused and even baffled to take the right decision and to make the right choice about what to do next as regards to my love relationship. Thus a set of questions have come to my mind which I haven’t yet answered as honestly as I should. I hate it right now to get back to them because they have given me some sleepless nights already. But I know they’re all turning around one main thing: should I proceed? Should I break up and start over? A part of me says I have to proceed with the one I have thought I can share the rest of my life, and whom I have spent almost three years now. Three years have been more than enough to fall in love into one another madly and of course we’ve been able to express it openly in whatever way it seemed efficiently expressive to us. Our love has always cured all the arguing, the disputing and the bad things that have emerged all along the way in our relationship every now and then. Both of us have been patient, tolerable, good thinkers and planners, tremendous lovers and just a unique couple. Our aspiration thereby has grown up to think seriously of our love and how to crown it with marriage. This idea has stayed with us everyday since then; trying to build our whole hopes, ambitions and plans upon it to make it the best achievement we could ever make. By all means being together in the context of marriage was so tempting to realize many of the things we’ve reached out amazingly in such a short time. It’s been an unbeatable record in terms of the achievements that we’ve laboriously made. All this has been fine but recently I have explored that I’ve given up on a number of things I’ve firmly believed in just to get the relationship moving forward. Or perhaps because I was blinded by the love I’ve felt towards the girl I intend to marry. The dispute that happened between me and her just three days ago could tell how I got things wrong or probably we haven’t stopped at certain points which we haven’t and never agreed upon in the course of our relationship. This has led me to think what the rationale of having a partner in life is beforehand. Of course the answer is: being happy in another kind of life. The situation we’ve been in could show how furious we could both get in time of anger over some trivial things. The exaggerated anger she was speaking with over a word I said and by which I meant only the good side didn’t really make me comfortable as to see the days of happiness with her. At the same time when I remind my mind of how she’s been so helpful, patient, besides some other qualities, I find myself exaggerating and being pessimistic when it comes to the future. I feel I’m drawing a gloomy picture of it as I imagine that life is empty of problems. Problems are not what I’m worried about however because they always exist anytime and anywhere, I’m worried about whether we can find solutions and move forward with our life like any married couple once we’re married. That’s my main concern. The way she talks to me sometimes isn’t conductive to make an actualization of my own personality as she tries to put her opinions in such an imposing way, and also she has to be convinced to take the actions I usually suggest nicely. As long as we’re together, I believe we should do things in partnership which means we’re a team, we observe, we plan, we act and we reflect together. By taking up this model in our life, we can’t have for sure any divergences. I appreciate being different from one another yet the common points we have should be worked out and reinforced as to see each other in accord most of the time. Among the things she’s tried to impose on me just some time ago was living in the city of Mohamedia and when I said, “Have you taken my opinion into consideration when you’ve taken that decision? She was surprised which means she was thinking only of herself living next to her parents and not thinking of our life. When I showed disagreement over it, she couldn’t accept it and that meant to me that I was not taken into account. I wasn’t among her priorities or perhaps she could do whatever it would take to satisfy her parents even if this should come at my expense. She wanted to lead me where she wanted to. That’s the machine system, one is controlling from a remote place and the other is executing. I’m a human being and I can’t take it to be treated like a robot, even the robots now are becoming interactive with humans’ actions and feelings. Thinking of all the things I’ve mentioned and some others, I find myself though unwilling to ruin our love relationship by these trivialities. The time we’ve spent shouldn’t go with the wind. It is part of my life and therefore it’s precious and cannot be made up whether sooner or later. When something stagnates, it leaves room to bacteria. I think what happened is healthy to refresh our relationship and make far stronger in the long run. My decision therefore is you are my choice, the one I want to live with; I’d like to proceed and to experience the whole life with its joys and agonies taking what’s happening at the moment as training for our marital life. Whatever might occur, it does occur for a reason, and perhaps what we’ve been through is testing how our patience and our wisdom can be helpful to move us to the phase of maturity and prosperity. I still remember one quote I read a few days ago; it says that every problem in life carries a gift inside it. I think the gift inside it was that we’ve discovered that we truly love each other and that nothing can tear us apart just like I promised by the will of God of course. The gift inside it was that we could make a halt at our relationship to see for ourselves what went wrong and what went right, what was bad and what was good. It’s some sort of evaluation as to stop at the strengths and the pitfalls of our love relationship. The gift inside all the problems we’ve either enjoyed or whined about is that we’re still having each other. We are the winners in the face of everything we’ve come across. The most important thing is we’re still alive and so is our love. Let’s not kill ourselves by killing our love. It’s worth our patience and sacrifice to keep it the way we want and so it’s up to us to look at it from this perspective in order to work it out.