As a woman, sometimes I can find it hard to control what I am feeling. This of course mostly contends with negative emotions, with feelings of worthlessness or feelings of hopelessness. Often times when a woman cries but does not know why they have a hard time controlling these emotions.
Now this doesn’t just happen in women, but it also happens with men as well. Have you ever known a male to become aggressive or angry and lash out without thinking? This is a good display of not being able to control one’s emotions. My partner sometimes has a hard time controlling his anger, and when he cannot control it, it can become quite scary. Not just scary for myself but also for him, and when it happens he freaks out because he doesn’t understand why he cannot control the anger. Because of this, I decided to make up a list of six ways that one can learn to become the master of their emotions. These six simple steps should be practiced every time you believe you may be getting out of control or might get out of control (emotionally).
- Identify: Identify what you are feeling and I mean really identify the source root of what is going on. Reflect on the emotion and take time to really think about it. By doing this you give yourself time to calm the emotion down or take some control over it.
- Acknowledge and appreciate them: we have emotions for a reason. They let us know how we are really feeling and by acknowledging that they are there for a reason, we can learn to appreciate and come to a better understanding of ourselves.
- Be Curious: In order to gain emotional intelligence, one must learn to be curious about what their emotions are telling them. If you can learn about the emotion, find distinctions between what sets it off and what doesn’t, then you can learn to prevent this emotion in the future if need be. Make up a series of questions that help you navigate through them.
- Be Confident: If you’ve experienced this emotion before, be confident in yourself that you will handle it well and with grace because you are familiar with it.
- Present and Future: Know that if you can handle this emotion well and with grace today, that you will also be able to handle it again in the future in the same manner or perhaps in a better manner. By building up your confidence in knowing that you can deal with your emotions and control them when need be, you’ll be better off later on down the road.
- Excitement: Remember that not all emotions are bad and you can use these emotions as a way of finding insight into yourself. If you can discover more about yourself from these emotional markers then you can possibly use the emotions to help you take action within your life.
Now I am not saying that all emotions need to be controlled, but I am saying that those who want to have better or more control over their emotional times can do so by putting in place the technique mentioned above. If you can learn to identify your emotions, acknowledge them, ask yourself questions, and then be confident that you can control them and gain insight from them, then you’ll build a solid emotional foundation for yourself.