Defeat Your Anger Before Anger Defeats You


Anger, fury, rage, wrath, annoyed, frustrated, irritation are emotions that each one has experienced at some point of time. These are healthy emotions which help us to vent out our feelings, make positive changes and take useful actions. But when it gets out of control it creates a lot of problems in life without the person being aware that he or she has become slave of it. This article will help you to control your anger and take charge of your life.

Firstly, identify whether your anger is really creating a problem for you by considering following questions:

  • Do you get angry more easily and more often than others?
  • Do you feel that your anger becomes out of control and have to use drugs or alcohol to control it?
  • Do you become violent, damage things or property when you get angry?
  • Is your anger creating problems for other family members?
  • Do you worry about your anger, perhaps getting anxious or depressed about it at times?
  • Do you take out your frustration on loves ones or ones who are less powerful than you rather than dealing tactfully with the situation?

If your answer is yes to these questions than your anger is definitely a problem. Expressing your anger without losing control involves practice.

Following are some interesting ways that will help you to control your anger:

1. Relaxation: Whenever you get angry your body undergoes a lot of changes. This contributes in losing your temper and get into physical fights with other people. In order to soothe your angry feelings you need practice simple relaxation tools which are as follows:

  • Deep Breathing: Slow deep breaths will help you to relax your muscles. Practice this daily at least twice a day.
  • Imagery: You need to sit in a comfortable place close your eyes and imagine yourself relaxing on a beach or any other place from your memory which helps you to relax
  • Repeating calming words or phrases: With Breathing exercises you can always have a positive talk with yourself. For instance: while breathing you can repeat words like “Relax”, “I know I can handle this”, “Take it easy”.

2. Humour: This is the most interesting way to reduce your anger. It’s difficult to laugh at your problems, but still humour can help you take a step backward from being angry. Here’s what you can do. Think of a person whom you are angry with and then imagine that person in an amusing way. For instance, you are angry with one of your colleagues and refer him as a “stupid clown.” Imagine or draw him in a clown suit with big shoes and red nose. Imagine him in the same way whenever he bothers you which will make you laugh instead of getting angry

3. Change your Environment: Sometimes you may feel that you are trapped in your immediate surroundings which is the cause of frustration and rage. The roles and responsibilities you are expected of burden you and you end up losing your temper on kids or end up fighting with your spouse. Therefore, you should always take a break. For instance a mother who is constantly working 24/7 should take a break at least twice a week. She can put her responsibilities on others and in that free time she can hang out with friends, go for shopping, join some class that she likes, watch movies etc. This will help her to relax and soothe her anger feelings.

4. Time out: This means removing yourself from the situation for a period of time to calm yourself and then think again about things before you act. For instance feeling angry while having an argument with your partner, you should say “I need time out, let’s just talk about this calmly when I get back” and then go for a walk. This may help you to slow down the heated discussion and both of you get time to think carefully about what you actually want to say to each other.

5. Being Assertive: Express your point of view in a clear and direct way without becoming aggressive. For example, you are standing in a line of the ticket counter at the railway station. A man breaks the line and tries to collect ticket without standing in a line. Instead of yelling and being aggressive, you can softly convey “There is a line here. It would be better that you wait for your turn like the rest of us” The chances are man would give a positive response. Communicating in an assertive manner will help to reduce conflict, manage anger and develop positive relationships with the other.

6. Distraction: Sometimes you are trapped in a situation which you cannot get rid of. At such times you should distract yourself from whatever is making you angry by counting to ten, listening to music, reading a book, calling you friend to chat. For instance, you are trapped in traffic, which is making you lose your temper, put on a radio and listen to songs or count the number of times the chorus has been sung.

These are some of the tactics that may successfully help you to manage your anger. However practice makes a man perfect. With enough practice, you will be able to manage your anger in tensed situations. So Keep Practicing.

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